selfishness is freedom (OLD)

little did he know...this year would kick his entire ass... #RIP #RESPAWN

i wanna be free. and i don't mean the store bought type of free. i want to be free to resolve any and all limitations within myself & my life without the overbearing press of social anxiety, capitalism, feelings of inferiority, and everything else that comes with existing at a time like now. i dont think im alone when i say a lot of us are past fed up with the way things operate in our current world structure. i hate to kick a dead horse with this next point but, TikTok becoming virtually the most effective way to survive as a content creator period is insane. i dont think we should be charging for a thing like creativity- i dont think we should be charging for anything at all but that's besides the point. i dont know, for a long time it just felt like i was a newspaper boy trying to shout over the other newspaper boys on the corner.

but i want to be free. free of the weight of living under a roof hoping to leave it. i feel as if i always end up wanting to leave wherever i move to, mostly because of outside circumstances. this time i want my own space, my own galaxy. i want to move to mars with andromeda on my arm and a studio underneath the bedroom. i want my own room so i can decorate my walls and create uninterrupted. so i can have a home frl. ive been sharing my spaces foreveerrrrr. since i was a kid dude. and i am so over it, i want my own stuff! 

to be free you must break your chains; suffering is wishing your desire will obey your will. true freedom begins in the mind. this is difficult to practice, as one can imagine. i do try to remember what i can, but as of recently i keep getting surprised attacked by my mind, the beautiful bastard. i want to be free. i want to lock my door and stay in my room alone all day. i love my brother but, i want to be free. i want to ... 

man this growing up thing is hard. i had hoped things would change before it got noticeable. i keep itching my face and i dont know how to solve my eczema. nothing works anymore. i keep crashing through brick walls. i hope my newsletter does well. i really wish i really wish i really wish for a giant lucky golden fish. its V-Day soon, almost time for loverboy s2. this is the first year ive had a genuine valentine though. im happy about that. and im happy im learning to let people in and trust people. its like im almost human, hehe. 0_0.

FREEEEEE MEEEEEEEEEEE SEEEEEMOOOOOOURRRRRR 

anywayZ. i been thinkning about my future and honestly brooo idk  how imma get therebut i know im destined for the typa greatness they write in the history bookZ. right now though!!! i need help. 

a Divine blessing

a  big bank roll

a hug :-{

2/10/24 5:52PM